Wednesday, March 26, 2014

More Letters

I've been writing letters again. Text versions are below the cut.

Google Search via letter: Steak N' Shake, mojito, Josh Hutcherson's butt

And more letters...

Letter to Hollywood: Sperm Equality

But in the end, all things must be balanced.

Letter to Animal Control: Not enough birds in my neighborhood

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Perspectives Differ: Death Star Technicians

Death Star
Here follows the final text message exchange between Death Star engineers Alysha Serasai, 1st Technician, Reactor Core Sector, and Rax Nooram, 2nd Technician, Outer Sprawls Sector 12.

Alysha: Up for dinner tonight?  :)

Rax: Sorry, can’t. I had to work late installing a homing beacon in an old Corellian freighter they tractored in and I missed the last express elevator. I’d take the regular elevator, but I wouldn’t get there until late. Why the hell does this space station have to be so damn big?

Alysha: It really doesn’t. They have a prototype version of the Death Star orbiting a black hole in The Maw. It’s a quarter the mass of this one and requires less than one tenth the crew, and it works just fine. I saw them test it. But now it’s just sitting out there, gathering accretion dust.

Rax: So why the hell did they build this one?

Alysha: You know how the Empire is. Why make something normal sized, when you can make it impractically large? All those subcontractors need to wet their beaks, and no Moff wants to command a battlestation that has less than a million people on it. Not enough prestige.

Rax: Ugh. Government.